Reflection... Rediscovery... Release....

February 25th, 2009 - a little after 9pm in a heavy downpour of rain, my life was changed drastically. The passenger side of my friend's car was hit while on our way to one of our open mic events-- I was the passenger. Since then, I've been going thru several types of therapy that will help correct the injuries I've sustained. I've found myself, at times not wanting to talk about it or mention what has happened to me, as well as what I'm dealing with while on my way to recovery. I still press forward- despite my wants to give in and give up. I'm determined to move onward and upward to each level, no matter the circumstances, until I reach my goals.

I sit DAILY and reflect on what happened and what could have happened that night, and I know that there is a purpose for me, not just because my life was spared-- BUT because I AM DETERMINED TO DO GREAT THINGS THAT WILL MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN THIS WORLD-- NOT JUST MY SMALL CIRCLE OR COMMUNITY. I have learned to give my time and energy to being an asset to SOLUTIONS that will change not just my situation, but will more than benefit the people around me. I have decided to take my life with each passing day as a chance to be a blessing to someone in someway- no matter how big or small. I owe it to myself, I owe it my children and above all-- I owe it to the world.

No one really knows how I feel in depth- because I when I start to come out about my feelings, I back off and find myself in deep thought. This reason was because I was trying to determine how I really feel about what has happened. Since the accident, people have came in and out of my life, both good and bad- to either teach me a lesson or added to my journey to blessings-- but to me, it's all the same. GOOD OR BAD- there was something learned and from now on, there will be a implementation of that lesson learned for the rest of my life. I have had a lot of friends when I had it ALL going for EVERYONE and I had no one to even talk to when I had NOTHING going for MYSELF- so yeah, there were a lot of nights, aside from the nightmares and night sweats-- that I cried myself to sleep-- wanting someone to just "listen to my silent cry." I found myself having to answer to that cry. I was the only one who truly knew what it was about and could cater to my own needs if I just stood up...

As an answer to that cry, I pay tribute to what has happened to me- because of it I am stronger and I appreciate the life that I have been given-- the chance I have to make a difference- and I'm more than ready to do this, even if I have to stand alone. I'm still in recovery-- and I'm using this time to redevelop and heal, not just from the impact of the car, but from the impact this has had on my life- I could have lost mine-- and at anytime-- this event can take place. My only meditative prayer is to not be taken away before I have done my part to make a difference-- and each time my eyes open to a new day, I will put forth the effort to make that difference. The joy I now seek is in the strength I have to DO things that will be bring forth CHANGE FOR A STRONGER TOMORROW...This is my release--- my therapy-- my day of thanksgiving-- because I woke up and was able to stand, able to talk, able to walk, able to see, feel and BREATHE-- and I would go thru everything all over again because of what it has instilled in me. Some say tragedy-- I say tribulation. It's an honor to be alive - and I'm extending my heartfelt gratitude...