People Say - Venting....

People say that I'm in my own little world- not in tune with what's really going on in the world today. In fact- I say that the level I'm on will not permit me to acknowledge such meaningless acts- instead make ways to better build the world I'm already a resident of- one not as lifeless as this one- filled with bleeding hearts that beat for the dead. Even if I don't live to see this fulfilled- I will still give my life, efforts and skills to have this world known. I will walk in constant contrasting styles and colors to have my heritage shown- I will enlighten those who are blinded by excuses and falsified teachings- my plan is to do this til I'm buried- and from my grave- to still be reaching out to those seeking an alternative to the spiritual draining that society is leeching.

People say that I'm too rough around the edges- not a social butterfly. I can only say that until they have flown on the wings of an eagle to the highest points in the sky- this concept seems about right to the average human eye. Everyone won't see what I see- most can't grasp my concepts- and for this reason and its responses, I'm prepared to accept. When you have decided to use your Kingdoms to build a platform around those who are inept- you have to be the one standing firm- even when you are left standing by yourself.

People say I'm emotionless- not seeing the passion in my eyes- this smug grin on my face is just a disguise to hide the pain of being misunderstood, I feel inside. I have a lot to protect- and what I'm protecting demands my respect- so I can't allow anyone to harm the gifts I have been given. This is what defines me- it makes me who I am, and by this hidden passion I will stand- whether anyone else wants to show what they can do with their hearts- I have to do it with both my heart and my hands. I will do this over and over- til my physical presence has ceased to exist and is again, transformed into sand.

People say so many things- so much is poisoned by opinionated- over liberated individuals who use their souls to keep confusion on a earth that is cursed to repeat a past history of destructive acts that will destroy man-kind unless those who are awake- WAKE UP- no more pressing the snooze button- our world has been over-indulging in bullshit that has created a majority or mindless, polluted, moral-less gluttons. The alarms are ringing for the rise of a new world to surface and show its face-- people say this "better place" doesn't exist- it just won't be discovered by the "average" human race...

Sensual Visions Of A King

Glancing across the almost dark room of weakened candles about to flicker one last time- I'm caught in a trance to see a male silhouette of pure sensual energy as he floated towards the table lamp to turn on the lite- I only wish that I had enough time to enjoy the visual display of royal perfection he presented to me, unintentionally. He paused and looked my way, as if hearing my thoughts- giving me more time to watch him in all his manly glory. I gazed on with a lusty licking of my lips and eyes that adored his mature outline. He is a man in everyway- his stature and stance being a direct reflection of his intelligence and grace.

As the candles slowly burned out- he began to light up the darkness as he transformed in front me from what seemed at first to be a mere silhoutte of a man to an almost blinding force of energy. Beginning to glow like the shooting stars as they dance across the night sky. He is a star in my eyes- at this time, seeming too far to reach- only to be wished upon. I find myself in a warped world- only wanting to experience his purified soul- touch his perfect body- kiss his sacred spots and taste the genuine flavor of ecstasy we would create together. I would even settle for sampling his flavor alone- without the additive of mine-- so sweet, so thirst quenching and invigorating.

He's not like me in any way- but just like me in every way- follow me when I say this. He's a powerfully fervent entity that most women would only dream of having in their close proximity- and finally my dream of being in such a man's presence has come true. I will take the time to admire him- enjoy his company and share my love for the world with him- as he shares his love for all that makes it beautiful with me- creating our own U-N-I-Verse.

We have become the Father and Mother- the Sun and the Moon and all elements that breed new life in our own world. He's my guardian angel sent to encourage me to express my heart's contents- caressing my injured wings, soothing away the hurt and pain.

From his nude outline I saw wings sprout as he took flight- grabbing me by the hand, telling me to come along with him because I held a special gift, a perfect gift and it was time to share it with the world that we currently knew. Such an immaculate creation can't be held by someone of my level of flaws and scars of love gone wrong and time wasted on assumptions and misguided beliefs- or can he be just what is needed to complete this circle that will transform me into what I need to be?

Can he be heaven sent? Sent here to show me how to fly again- how to feel passion and to look past all of life's roadblocks to find a place designed for he and I to build a fortress of phenomenal strength and power. He being King of our castle and me being the Queen. He is clearly my better half- a part of me that I longed for in my past lives, he was written as fantasies in my past poetic scribes- finding his way to me in this lifetime- setting my old soul free- bringing it youthfulness and joy. In his eyes I see my safe haven and a more peaceful way to live.

Now, from watching my male counterpart from across the room as he seems to float in front of me, causes my heart to quicken in pace- with everything else slowing down almost coming to a complete stop. He is more than just a man- he is living proof that finding true love in a great man is not a myth- but a real and wonderful discovery. The Creator has given him the highest position in the heavens and sent him here to show me the ways of love- the way its meant to be between the union of male and female. He controls time and space- he controls love and lust- he takes control of my deepest desires and provides my every need... Effortlessly...

He's my blessing I have been cursed to enjoy for the rest of my life. His earthly parents should be proud to see the end results of their hard work and love. The Most High gave them the instructions they needed to help build him. He was hand-picked piece by piece and designed from my detailed prayers and meditations of wanting to feel love in its purest form.

He is my soul mate and team captain- my protector, my provider, my window of hope, my mirror that only reflects the happiness we share- he has taught me to accept the TRUE meaning of love and what it feels like to have it the way that The Creator designed it to be- designed US to be. I will be governing over a new nation, building a new foundation to show the world the power of two becoming one- mind body and soul...

I will reign for eternity as Queen and he will be my angel, my heaven sent, my loyal companion, my warrior, my beacon of light when I'm lost- and he will reign as King...

Copyright 2010 Kanday Reign. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Ramblings Of Slander & Dismay

If I say FUCK THE WORLD - it's only because I feel like it's trying to fuck me first- with you coming in rapidly in second place-- there are no emotions left for me to share- just a blank look on my face.

So, I'm sitting here shedding my blood, sweat and tears over my pen and pad- my losses so great- to get half of the way to where I am today, most would go mad. Unnecessary sacrifices, necessary compromises- and some things seemed out of my control. The pain feels like a dull, rusty box cutter - tearing into my soul. I've walked in silence, and to some, it seems easy-- what I do, who I am, what I give on a daily-- but honestly, they don't know the life I live-- BUT MAYBE if I leaked a little out in a rhyme or two- I can make it clear to a few- that I'm two tears from crying a river and one more lonely day in dismay won't make a difference to me. I've already learned to appreciate my moments of insanity. Just now, I wish that people can see my SELFLESSNESS and in turn, appreciate me-- but that's far from what I see. Single mother, NOW, wait, don't get it twisted, NOT A PITY PARTY I'm after. I just want to feel what it feels like to be overjoyed and filled with laughter. I wonder how my babies' daddy can smile and take pride in a child that he's not supporting-- I just feel sorry for the next female he thinks about courting. I can't see myself loving or respecting a person for some of the things my past has put me through- but I've been blessed beyond my wildest dreams- and as it continues, for that I want to say, I LOVE & THANK YOU... You've prepared me, I want to say by driving me crazy-- hitting on me when you're busy schedule was free-- and openly denying our babies.

My story's not done, cause I'm the only one who can tell it right. So much has happened, I'm trying to make sure I'm accurate despite-- the fact that my body is weak and my mind is shaky. I'm now slow to speak-- cause my jaws are achy- from sucking up juicy lines- wasting time responding to bullshit ass promises-- AND NOW I'M PROMISING MYSELF TO NEVER DO IT AGAIN-- sometimes I find myself crying because I don't have anyone to talk to about this- but with the way it's been lately- fuck having friends. Are they really friends or are they foes? Are they just an illusion of confusion and chaos designed to keep me on my toes-- with an eye open to watch their next move? What difference does it make anyway? An enemy's approach is always easy and smooth. I can't see myself in anyone Else's eyes, I only see my own reflection in myself- that makes me a loner- forced to walk this road of death... Like my parents- I've watched them go- slipped right through the cracks- and for that- people want to pat you on the back- but I don't take kindly to that. This shit hurts- REAL PAIN-- I can't sleep, cause I refuse to eat and all I get is "Sorry to hear that." Save that one for someone who believes that shit- it sure as hell ain't me. If you can't help me through with full support- save your corny ass "sympathy" lines- I don't need them-- I'm good... Oh, I'm pushing' buttons now? Well, truly I think it's time that I should. I've lost more hair without chemo- than I've ever planned to, and while it's growing back, I know what I HAVE to do. LET IT OUT- SHOUT IT IF IT MEANS THAT I'LL START THE HEALING PROCESS and my hair and the hole in my heart grows back. I need to try and see if I can get better sleep at night, while beginning to get my life on the right track.

EVERYONE who is ANYONE who is HUMAN can say that what I've done was HUMAN-- for caring for HUMANS that aren't quite HUMANE.... Allowing them to corrupt my brain- is no more an option, for I've gone insane. Now, for a change- I'm crazy about me-- fuck it if you don't feel this rambling poet-- from the beginning, that's how it should be...

© 2010 Kanday Reign-Ali