Before You Ruin Some One's Life--- Get One Of Your Own!
Emotional Awareness By Kanday Reign
I have been chatting and talking to
alot of my online family, friends and associates lately. Since I'm single, and I don't date much, BY CHOICE- I have time to play catch-up in every one's lives. In the process of doing so, I may have forgotten about
me getting a life. (Smiles) -BUT- Life as we know it, is just that LIFE; Many of us have forgotten about ourselves, or forgotten how to attract others who are of a unique quality in our lives to make the journey we must all take more pleasing.
A prior phone conversation I had late November, really gave me a headache. It set a prime example of how things are when it comes to moving on with your life after a bad relationship has occurred. From a
human's prospective- "Bad things happen to good people." In reality, that same quote has ruined the lives of many, cause they actually believe that crap! Some people don't even know they have issues themselves cause they spend most of their time blaming someone else for their bad turns in life. WE are the cause of ALL activity in our lives through our thoughts, actions and decisions. Many actually take the time to blame others, when there is no one around to... The other person has moved the hell on! We find it hard to grasp life and it's truths, due to false teachings making them feel powerless and similar to mindless puppets- and most won't own up to the outcomes they have had in their lives because of it. The wake-up call has to be made- and people have to answer that call ready to realize what's happening to them- because of them..... YOU are in control of YOU.....
"No matter how you slice it-- it's still always going to be cheese. Melting it or adding other ingredients doesn't change what it basically is either!" We have to see ourselves in a way that no one else does, or even can for that matter, so that whatever they try to do- to us, for us, or against us- we will remain for the most part, ourselves regardless of the outcome. Some things are hard to understand, and even harder to stand on because of the mystery that is being put behind it- and
alot of people just don't get it- and half the time, there is no real mystery- just a simple opening or your eyes. The majority won't get it anyway.... It's not meant to be that way. So,
alot of you- I don't expect to understand what I'm talking about.... Sorry....
I admit, I've just been hurt from a previous relationship and recently, I've been betrayed by someone I thought was going to be a very good friend for a very long time. I set myself up for these situations to take place. At first, no one wants to believe that what they think and the signs they get while involved in ANY situation determines it's outcome- but this is a truth I had to accept. I cried
alot because of what I've been through- and at first I was afraid of telling the wrong person and of facing the fact that they may view me as being weak, and try to use me in my vulnerable state. Now, it doesn't matter, cause I have came to terms with the situations that have taken place in my life and I don't mind sharing it, and I have actually gained strength from taking the time to trust myself and examine myself and what I have done, could have done, or did not do to make the situation work in my favor. One thing that is for certain- I was pissed!!! Still find myself feeling bitter about some things- but I can only look forward and find ways in my life to make changes that will permit a better future and greater experiences.
Talking to others have helped me- cause it has actually made me examine
alot of issues that I haven't went through and gave me more to
think and
thank about before posting this article.I've listen to their stories of love for that person they thought was special- and of how true these people were to the other person who has hurt them- feeling that they gave them the world- neglecting themselves at some points to prove to this person that they love them and want them in their lives. I can relate to some of this emotion more than 100%. Not going to get into detail- but getting back to the point. At no point do I hear people say they saw a sign, or had a funny feeling towards the person that did them wrong. Some just all out say that the person was totally at fault- I beg the differ.
The Creator took his time to create something great when he created the human being. We possess unknown, unseen and unexplained phenomenas about our whole existence that puts us on an elevated plain so to speak. There is nothing that can or will go on in our lives, without a fore-warning about it. This goes against the way we were designed. We always see "unexpected" things occur in life- but in all actuality- nothing is unexpected- we get certain signals and feelings about things that are about to occur in our lives all the time. Most don't look- and if they tried- still couldn't see because they are so willing to give everything they do or don't do an excuse, and end up pursuing something that is a waste of time and energy.
The simplest example: Have you ever went to a building, and you had a strange feeling- maybe you just felt you had to go somewhere else first- and then come back- your hairs raised up- you kept dropping stuff on your way in-- anything that would have made you feel like it just wasn't your day. You shrug is off. It's cool outside, or you're at the door already and don't want to turn around. "The devil is a liar." You know - whatever slogan people use now-a-days. Say it's to pay a bill, or turn in some paperwork. So you go in, get in a long line- more than 20 minutes to wait, but you're destined to wait it out cause you don't want to wait in an even longer line trying to go somewhere else first and then circling back. You are the 4Th person in line now to see a service rep, and you go to your purse or storage case and you realize that you left the papers you needed in the car, on the backseat with the papers you had to take to the place you were feeling you should have went to first.
Let's play it back from a relationship with a person-- You like everything about this person, they are just what you've always wanted and needed- EXCEPT.... Who knows what that exception is, but it's your problem with this person. For some reason when you are together at first, it seems beautiful and you feel it was meant to be, until they do or say something that makes your hairs stand up, or your mind starts to wonder things. Right there, the gap has been established. Do most of us stop? NO. Do we examine our own faults to see where we really stand in our own lives? NO. We take it as us just being picky, or "Oh, they will change it once they know I don't' like it." Or my favorite " I thought they wouldn't do it again." If you are running up a staircase and you slip from moving too fast and not watching your steps- you will surely fall damn near, all the way back down- things will fall right before you the same way in a relationship. When this is your life, that staircase should be traveled with the utmost of care and observation so that you don't miss the steps that may take you upward and not cause you to fall.
Sometimes we put ourselves in harmful situations that will in the end, hurt us indefinitely due us "thinking" that we are a good person that others will notice it and respect our wishes. This is an idiot move. Examine yourself- look at the situation you are about to get into. How does the person you are trying to get to see "that they have a good thing" acts about everything else in life. Not with you- but with things they claim to love, or really are into. Look at how they treat themselves and people they have had in their lives before you as well- and make judgement. You have a right to. If a person does not have things about them that you can accept and still be able grow and develop with this individual you are so wanting in your life- chances are those things will grow into other issues, bigger problems and ruin the whole relationship. Acceptance is the key- and if you can't do this from the beginning or you get a funny emotion going when things happen- you need not waste yours or the other person's time. You have to examine yourself as well, and your needs and wants in your life at the time-this is major because you may need something that you over looked and this person has no clue as to how to go about providing it.
We tend to look at what the person does for us only- and make our decision. Maybe they do things that make us feel superior, or important. Question is: What else is important to this person? Next Question: What is important to me? Third Question: Are we just being this way because of our feelings for each other, or are we being this type of person with and in all aspects of our lives?
YOU CANNOT allow another person to give you value- you should already be worth something when they come along. The best thing is to have something to offer yourself- find love and trust in yourself and then maybe a hobby. Loving of a person is tricky, cause if you don't have a burning passion and love for something else before you fall for a person- you won't be able to understand and respect the unconditional factors that exist. You won't know what it feels like to build something and watch it manifest into something even greater but the works of your hands. You'll be expecting the person to adapt to your liking, when the person was not even meant for you in the first place. We can have what we want out of life and love- we just have to ask ourselves the right questions- it starts with us, and guess what? It ends with us too.
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