It's time to just do it... Rambling

I have been searching through myself, my lifestyle, and my motives behind the things that I do. Honestly, there have been so many things about me that have changed dramatically, only igniting that fire in me to continue to move forward in the development of who I am in the process of becoming the final vision that I see in the near future. One thing that I have noticed about me is that since the start of this journey- I found myself no longer comfortable with what I was taught to believe, think or even be, and as long as I don't pursue a greater cause- I will only live with this self loathing, wondering what I would have turned out to be if I followed my heart and it's beating need to be inside a person who is truly living.

I'm embracing a new me, a new way of looking at life and what I attract to me. It's not easy, because I find myself wanting to go with my initial human instinct- but I've realized that I can not punk out and go that route. I'd rather be out of the comfort zone of who I was in order to become what I know I need to be. How many people do you know who are willing to give this in life? I'm ready to live for the development of others- knowing that by giving a mere portion of me will continue to live on in the through that contribution. That means more to me than anything I could possibly accomplish alone or just worrying about myself and my children. I have learned to see a bigger picture, and place my pieces where they fit in order to encourage others to place their pieces down as well- with full knowledge that WE are who makes us stronger- not just me alone. I'm strong, I know this, but with support and a positive common ground being our initial drive- EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE... My life is no longer a strife for me- but a constant assisting in the development of providing and implementing ways to change the world. My fight is not against anything- but for an alternative way to view, create and encourage others to choose that way instead of fighting against what they are giving power to!

I'm not comfortable with my level of knowledge, because I know that I can learn so much more that will help me in my journey and be beneficial to both myself and those who I've been blessed to have around me. I'm not comfortable with what I do for my community, because I know that I can be a stronger asset and blessing to those who are directly and indirectly involved in bettering the world we live in. I'm not satisfied with my health- because I'm still fighting against myself with foods I know I'm not supposed to ingest, and others who have issues with my choice in eating healthier and choices to continue to change how I nourish my body. I'm constantly questioned as to how I believe- or if I'm a certain religion, and frankly it makes me sick. I don't ever want to be constricted by the thoughts of others because of my views being different from theirs.

I'm getting tired of a person needing you, and you helping them, and as long at you're helping them, they are fine- but in all actuality, if it were anything else involved- because of your beliefs being different from theirs- they would have a major problem with even talking to you. Even worse, people who won't allow you to be of assistance to them because of you and them having different personal views. I was told "It doesn't matter who does it, if there is a problem or issue that needs to be resolved, as long as it's done right, who created the problem doesn't even matter- as long as the people who are willing to resolve it work together."

That came from my Mother & Father-"If you see something that needs to be done, and you can do it right- then just do it..." It's not like that now- everyone is to blame for the shortcomings of someone else. I'm not settled in my spirit with that being a primary reason for me doing something or not. Please believe, if I'm going to do something, I'm going to do it with all that I've go, and will always make it my business to learn what I need to learn to do it correctly. The knowledge I seek is beyond me, beyond what people see or even what I see sometimes myself, but so far I'm ready to take on the challenge that has been set before me.

My mind is worn out with alot of things- but one thing that I'm fully aware of: I AM THE STARTER & FINISHER OF MY OWN DESTINY BEING FULFILLED! Whether long term goals being worked on with diligence or short term trials being successfully conquered- it's my choice either to allow someone hinder that or even more importantly and extremely more detrimental, me allowing myself to continue to not have enough faith in myself and the power that I have over my own life to make the best of it. I have never been a person to run away from a fight or challenge- and so, I'm going to use that same characteristic when it comes to this. My future is filled with good things- and I know what has to be done to gain a permanent place in this world. I can change alot, just through me and I only want to work with others who are willing, ready and able to get off their asses and help make a difference. We are tired of people stating the problems but not coming up with resolutions. I have came to far now to sit down on my desiny-- I'm just going to do it.....