Before You Ruin Some One's Life- Get One Of Your Own!

Before You Ruin Some One's Life--- Get One Of Your Own!

Emotional Awareness By Kanday Reign

I have been chatting and talking to alot of my online family, friends and associates lately. Since I'm single, and I don't date much, BY CHOICE- I have time to play catch-up in every one's lives. In the process of doing so, I may have forgotten about me getting a life. (Smiles) -BUT- Life as we know it, is just that LIFE; Many of us have forgotten about ourselves, or forgotten how to attract others who are of a unique quality in our lives to make the journey we must all take more pleasing.

A prior phone conversation I had late November, really gave me a headache. It set a prime example of how things are when it comes to moving on with your life after a bad relationship has occurred. From a human's prospective- "Bad things happen to good people." In reality, that same quote has ruined the lives of many, cause they actually believe that crap! Some people don't even know they have issues themselves cause they spend most of their time blaming someone else for their bad turns in life. WE are the cause of ALL activity in our lives through our thoughts, actions and decisions. Many actually take the time to blame others, when there is no one around to... The other person has moved the hell on! We find it hard to grasp life and it's truths, due to false teachings making them feel powerless and similar to mindless puppets- and most won't own up to the outcomes they have had in their lives because of it. The wake-up call has to be made- and people have to answer that call ready to realize what's happening to them- because of them..... YOU are in control of YOU.....

"No matter how you slice it-- it's still always going to be cheese. Melting it or adding other ingredients doesn't change what it basically is either!" We have to see ourselves in a way that no one else does, or even can for that matter, so that whatever they try to do- to us, for us, or against us- we will remain for the most part, ourselves regardless of the outcome. Some things are hard to understand, and even harder to stand on because of the mystery that is being put behind it- and alot of people just don't get it- and half the time, there is no real mystery- just a simple opening or your eyes. The majority won't get it anyway.... It's not meant to be that way. So, alot of you- I don't expect to understand what I'm talking about.... Sorry....

I admit, I've just been hurt from a previous relationship and recently, I've been betrayed by someone I thought was going to be a very good friend for a very long time. I set myself up for these situations to take place. At first, no one wants to believe that what they think and the signs they get while involved in ANY situation determines it's outcome- but this is a truth I had to accept. I cried alot because of what I've been through- and at first I was afraid of telling the wrong person and of facing the fact that they may view me as being weak, and try to use me in my vulnerable state. Now, it doesn't matter, cause I have came to terms with the situations that have taken place in my life and I don't mind sharing it, and I have actually gained strength from taking the time to trust myself and examine myself and what I have done, could have done, or did not do to make the situation work in my favor. One thing that is for certain- I was pissed!!! Still find myself feeling bitter about some things- but I can only look forward and find ways in my life to make changes that will permit a better future and greater experiences.

Talking to others have helped me- cause it has actually made me examine alot of issues that I haven't went through and gave me more to think and thank about before posting this article.I've listen to their stories of love for that person they thought was special- and of how true these people were to the other person who has hurt them- feeling that they gave them the world- neglecting themselves at some points to prove to this person that they love them and want them in their lives. I can relate to some of this emotion more than 100%. Not going to get into detail- but getting back to the point. At no point do I hear people say they saw a sign, or had a funny feeling towards the person that did them wrong. Some just all out say that the person was totally at fault- I beg the differ.

The Creator took his time to create something great when he created the human being. We possess unknown, unseen and unexplained phenomenas about our whole existence that puts us on an elevated plain so to speak. There is nothing that can or will go on in our lives, without a fore-warning about it. This goes against the way we were designed. We always see "unexpected" things occur in life- but in all actuality- nothing is unexpected- we get certain signals and feelings about things that are about to occur in our lives all the time. Most don't look- and if they tried- still couldn't see because they are so willing to give everything they do or don't do an excuse, and end up pursuing something that is a waste of time and energy.

The simplest example: Have you ever went to a building, and you had a strange feeling- maybe you just felt you had to go somewhere else first- and then come back- your hairs raised up- you kept dropping stuff on your way in-- anything that would have made you feel like it just wasn't your day. You shrug is off. It's cool outside, or you're at the door already and don't want to turn around. "The devil is a liar." You know - whatever slogan people use now-a-days. Say it's to pay a bill, or turn in some paperwork. So you go in, get in a long line- more than 20 minutes to wait, but you're destined to wait it out cause you don't want to wait in an even longer line trying to go somewhere else first and then circling back. You are the 4Th person in line now to see a service rep, and you go to your purse or storage case and you realize that you left the papers you needed in the car, on the backseat with the papers you had to take to the place you were feeling you should have went to first.

Let's play it back from a relationship with a person-- You like everything about this person, they are just what you've always wanted and needed- EXCEPT.... Who knows what that exception is, but it's your problem with this person. For some reason when you are together at first, it seems beautiful and you feel it was meant to be, until they do or say something that makes your hairs stand up, or your mind starts to wonder things. Right there, the gap has been established. Do most of us stop? NO. Do we examine our own faults to see where we really stand in our own lives? NO. We take it as us just being picky, or "Oh, they will change it once they know I don't' like it." Or my favorite " I thought they wouldn't do it again." If you are running up a staircase and you slip from moving too fast and not watching your steps- you will surely fall damn near, all the way back down- things will fall right before you the same way in a relationship. When this is your life, that staircase should be traveled with the utmost of care and observation so that you don't miss the steps that may take you upward and not cause you to fall.

Sometimes we put ourselves in harmful situations that will in the end, hurt us indefinitely due us "thinking" that we are a good person that others will notice it and respect our wishes. This is an idiot move. Examine yourself- look at the situation you are about to get into. How does the person you are trying to get to see "that they have a good thing" acts about everything else in life. Not with you- but with things they claim to love, or really are into. Look at how they treat themselves and people they have had in their lives before you as well- and make judgement. You have a right to. If a person does not have things about them that you can accept and still be able grow and develop with this individual you are so wanting in your life- chances are those things will grow into other issues, bigger problems and ruin the whole relationship. Acceptance is the key- and if you can't do this from the beginning or you get a funny emotion going when things happen- you need not waste yours or the other person's time. You have to examine yourself as well, and your needs and wants in your life at the time-this is major because you may need something that you over looked and this person has no clue as to how to go about providing it.

We tend to look at what the person does for us only- and make our decision. Maybe they do things that make us feel superior, or important. Question is: What else is important to this person? Next Question: What is important to me? Third Question: Are we just being this way because of our feelings for each other, or are we being this type of person with and in all aspects of our lives?

YOU CANNOT allow another person to give you value- you should already be worth something when they come along. The best thing is to have something to offer yourself- find love and trust in yourself and then maybe a hobby. Loving of a person is tricky, cause if you don't have a burning passion and love for something else before you fall for a person- you won't be able to understand and respect the unconditional factors that exist. You won't know what it feels like to build something and watch it manifest into something even greater but the works of your hands. You'll be expecting the person to adapt to your liking, when the person was not even meant for you in the first place. We can have what we want out of life and love- we just have to ask ourselves the right questions- it starts with us, and guess what? It ends with us too.

The Native Amercian Perspective

First Thanksgiving? NOT!

The Pilgrims are said to have had the "first" thanksgiving feast in the New World in the autumn of 1621. Isn't that what you were taught in school? Nothing could be further from the truth!

People have given thanks for the bountiful harvests for thousands of years all over the earth. Historical records exist of the ancient Egyptians giving thanks to their gods for the Nile River floods that provided needed irrigation for their crops. The Chinese gave thanks to their gods and honored their ancestors. The Romans and Greeks celebrated with feasts, pageants, and revelry. Across Europe, India, Africa, North America and South America, and the rest of the earth over the millenia, there have been commemorations and feasts of thanksgiving.

The inhabitants of the North American continent were no different than other cultures. They worshipped the Earth Mother who provided the great herds for hunting, the aquatic creatures for fishing, and for bountiful crops of corn and other provisions. While the ceremonies differed from tribe to tribe across the continent, depending on their geographical location and their circumstances, a common thread weaves all mankind together. There is a common belief that some superior being(s) exist that are responsible for satisfying the need for sustenance and the perpetuation of the cyclical order of nature.

Prior to the Pilgrims' arrival in 1620, the Native Americans in the eastern shore of the North American continent had encountered other English and Spanish explorers. European visitors inadvertantly introduced smallpox to the Native American population in 1617. The subsequent plague decimated the population, with nearly half of the Native Americans succumbing to the virulent disease.

One hundred and two Pilgrim emigrants departed England on the Mayflower. During the voyage, one person was lost overboard and a child was born onboard. Of the 102 people who arrived at Plymouth Rock in December of 1620, only 50 survived the first winter in the New World. Cold and starvation killed many. Without the generosity of the Indians who provided food, many more would probably have died. The Pilgrims had much for which to be thankful.

According to the first newspaper published in America, Publick Occurrences, published on 25 September 1690 by Benjamin Harris, a group of Christianized Indians selected the date and place for the celebration of the first thanksgiving with the Pilgrims.

In the Fall of 1621, the thanksgiving commemoration took place. We know that it lasted for three days and included a period of fasting, prayer, religious services, and finally a shared meal. There were 90 Indians involved in this affair. While this celebration was never repeated, it has become the model for what most U.S. citizens celebrate today as Thanksgiving. This "first thanksgiving" marked a tranquil moment in time before tensions escalated and tempers flared.

The Pilgrims viewed the Indians as savages requiring the salvation of Christianity. They failed to recognize the deeply spiritual nature of the Native American people and their bond with the gods of nature. The Pilgrims aggressively tried to recruit the "savages." Those who accepted Christianity found themselves ostracized by their tribes and accepted by the Pilgrims as mere disciples. The Pilgrims' tampering with the beliefs of the Indians greatly offended the tribal leaders.

The Pilgrims were not adept at farming in their new homeland. Whereas the Indians were experts at growing maize, the Pilgrims were slow to learn. Their harvests of 1621 and 1622 were meager, and the Indians offered to exchange some of their harvest for beads and other materials. The Pilgrims eagerly responded but, in time, demonstrated bad faith by failing to fulfill their side of the bargain. The Indian leaders, proud men of their word, were insulted by the rude way in which they were treated. Tempers flared and, in time, open hostilities broke out.

History chonicles the subsequent colonialization, the infringement of colonists on Indian lands, the violation of the Indians' sacred beliefs and burial sites, and the forcing of the Indians farther and farther west. Treaties, massacres, seizure of lands, relocations, formation of reservations -- all of these represent a poor return for the Native Americans' investment of generosity.

Nevertheless, the commemoration of the "First Thanksgiving" that most U.S. citizens know is really not a celebration of bounties of the land. It should, instead, be a time to consider what might have been -- an honorable, mutually beneficial collaboration between two disparate peoples from different parts of the world.

In the meantime, remember that the celebration of thankfulness for the bounties of the land, the oceans, the streams, and of those things that make life wonderful did not begin with the Pilgrims. The Native Americans were commemorating these bounties long before the Pilgrims arrived. The customs still survive, more beautiful and meaningful today because of their fragile and spiritual nature.

Learn more about Native American thanksgiving culture in the article about the Celebration of Green Corn.

Written by GFS Morgan

Getting A Little Bit Closer...

Man! This post is waaaay overdue. I'm going to give everyone the low-down about me- I'm not expecting hardly anyone to read this, but JUST IN CASE; I'll make sure that I have this posted somewhere else online. Let's begin at the beginning; shall we?

My Introduction: I am a poet, singer, journalist, abstract/surreal artist, web/ graphics designer, internet marketing specialist, promoter, holistic health & sex coach, couple- family and youth counselor, mother, and much, much, more-- OR just plain Kanday!My reason for posting this, is to sorta give everyone who's taking time to get to know me on this journey a look inside my realm- the type of person I am, my likes, dislikes, and a whole bunch of other crap! lol. As you read above in my introduction- I am capable of doing alot of things, and before I'm done in this lifetime, I'll be known for even more. I'm a head-strong individual, I can be considered stubborn at times, but still, I'm a an energy driven, self-motivated individual. My journey has brought many people in and out of my life, some for good reasons and experiences and others weren't as good as they should have been. The end result in that scenario is that I'm still here, and still willing to live and experience life to the fullest.

Many people ask me lots of questions about me being single, what sexual preference I'm into, and things of that sort- and I will be glad to answer that in this post... I prefer a person who of the human race- gender is not an issue- for the simple fact, in my experience, if a person is going to be anything to you- good or bad- you have to know that person first, and from first encounters and trying to get to know anyone, sexual preferences should not be the main issue. Who I choose to be with in that manner is up to me- and the person I am intimate with in my personal life. SO, you can say- I'd like to keep my personal preference, PRIVATE and PERSONAL! I'm a judge of character, not gender. I'm sensual by nature, so I use the words "hun, sweety, baby" and things of the sort on a regular basis. For this I'm considered a flirt, but it's just in me to use those words. YES! I am single-nd I'm getting myself in the position to have enough time for that special someone in my future life. Right now, I'm a work in progress and until I'm done or feel satisfied enough to venture out and meet someone on a relationship level- I'd just like to get to know people, connect with them and make sure that my career is where I need it to be.

My hobbies are simple one(s), I think! LOL. I love graphic arts and abstracts, poetry, music (especially live music), media and anything else that allows the person who is creating it a way to express themselves fully. I love using my Kingdoms (talents) to create great things. I have always been creative, and imaginative, so doing what I do both for a living and a hobby is right up my alley. I believe that the Creator gave me the talents he has- and I should use them to the fullest so that I will be happy in all aspects of my life. I'm always encouraging others to follow their dreams and not be afraid of who they can become- it's talent hidden in all of us- some know they have them, others have yet to find theirs.

If I had to find the correct words to describe me and the type of life I live- they would be: honest, upfront, blunt, creative, intelligent, energetic, emotional, educated, expressive, dominate, savvy, sensual, sexual, open-minded, selfless, stubborn, laid back, natural, nonchalant, introverted- extrovert, down-to-earth, determined, hard working, dedicated, funny, talented, playful, affectionate, aggressive, observant, opinionated, supportive, business minded, self aware, self motivated, and consistent- these are the types of people that keep my interest in my life's walk. So, if we have came into acquaintance, then you possess over 5 of these qualities- and that's why we have came into contact with each other. If you at any point during this acquaintance, lose any of these- it will definitely show through our contact. I have set my guidelines in life with who I communicate with and they are not high, but I know what energy I want around me and what type of people I would like to share my life with.

All-in-all, if you find this message to not be enough information on me- feel free to ask me any questions and I will be glad to answer them to the best of my ability. I enjoy meeting and experiencing new people and new things- so, who knows-- my list may get longer! Much love to those who have supported me so far- and a warm welcome to those who are new comers in my life. I appreciate the support and kindness shown from everyone- and I appreciate the haters too! "Life is given to live-- why not do it to the fullest?"